Hiatus

Due to severe problems in my life right now, I will not be blogging for a while.

Until then, listen to "All About That Bass"  by Megan Trainor. Great song; my favorite line is "every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top."

Media Influence ( Part 2 of 2)

In my previous post, I discussed media influence on eating disorders and body image. Today, I want to touch on another aspect of media influence: portrayal of eating disorders.

Movies and television shows seem to show the extreme sides of eating disorders. All of the people suffering with Ed are rich, bratty, typically blonde girls who stand in front of a mirror with their friends, expressing disdain or poor self image. These girls were also pretty obvious about their disordered behavior. Sometimes, the depiction was so ridiculous that after the friend or parent would bring the eating disorder to the girl's attention, the girl would just decide one day to just stop practicing the eating disorder! Just like that!

I think that my favorite of the stupidities shown of eating disorders was the required video for junior high school health class. The girl would have a friend with an eating disorder, start copying her as the "cool way" to lose weight, her mom would catch her purging, blah blah blah.

Full House (one of the feel good, family-friendly shows of the 90s) had an episode where the teenage daughter, DJ, was restricting and over exercising. It was one of the better, more accurate portrayals of eating disorders on the media.

Comment with any other relatively accurate portrayals. :)

Media Influence (Part 1 of 2)

Over the last couple of decades, it has been obvious that media has a large influence in society's views of what is beautiful, what is acceptable, and what should have a brown bag over it. A huge aspect of this influence is Photoshop and how altering photos gives a false sense of normalcy. This false sense is normalcy has proven to be a contributing factor in eating disorders; people look at the covers of magazines and think that they NEED to look like that - no matter the cost.

Recently, an Australian model and her photographer called out a company for using Photoshop on a picture without permission. Model Meaghan Kausman, who happens to be the daughter of a body image activist, did a photo shoot with photographer Pip Summerville for the swimwear company, Fella Swim. Kausman was significantly upset and disturbed by the altered picture. She posted the original and altered photographs on Instagram, side by side, so that the world could see just how much her body had been changed. She posted, along with the pictures, that Fella Swim had "drastically altered my body, thinning out my stomach and thighs in an attempt to box me in to the cultural ideal of beauty."

"My body is a size 8, not a size 4," Kausman continued on Instagram. "I refuse to stand by and allow ANY company or person to perpetuate the belief that 'thinner is better.'" Summerville also blasted the swimwear company, mentioning that Fella Swim had actually violated copyright laws for using Photoshop and utilizing the image for advertisement. "These [photo manipulation] situations are not of an isolated occurrence in the industry, and are all (too) common, highlighting the unrealistic expectations of beauty and body image."

The photograph seems to have been removed from Fella Swim's Instagram page, and the company hasreportedly apologized to both the model and photographer.

It makes me sad that this is even an issue. It's ridiculous that society's view of "beauty" has, at some point, turned into looking like a skeleton...and as someone who used to look like a skeleton, I promise that it's really not very pretty.

Fortunately, some celebrities are speaking out against the photo-altering industry, as well as the asinine thought of beauty - and that no one actually looks like that! It's comforting to know that the influential people are taking advantage of their voice in a positive manner. "With great power comes great responsibility." Some of these rockin' folks include...
Keira Knightley
Brad Pitt
Jessica Simpson
Ashley Benson
Beyonce
Coco Rocha
Kate Winslet
Gisele Bundchen
Lorde
Lady Gaga
Kim Kardashian (This one honestly surprised me the most, but my fact checking shows this to be accurate. Who would have thought!)

It's also been good to see that everyday people are making a difference too. The Dove Campaign for Real Beauty is about average women of every size, shape, color, age...everything...showing what beauty really is. I feel like our society might be moving in the right direction. Sure, magazines still use Photoshop, casting directors still look for actresses with big breasts and small waists, and ballet instructors regularly tell dancers that they're too fat...but at least voices are being heard now. Eating disorders will never go away, but perhaps the word that "thin is NOT in" will minimize the numbers.

I would like to end with this: don't judge. Anyone. Ever. Someone with an eating disorder may not be skin and bones. Someone that you think is overweight may actually be completely healthy. And this thing going around social media that "men love curves"...I can't get into it much, but women hating on other women for their size - even curvy women making fun of a lady who may have a crazy high metabolism, for all you know - that's just not okay. But that's another post for another day...

My Story

I'd like to share my experiences and story, so that others can understand me a bit better.

Through childhood traumas, addiction issues, lack of control in my life (close ones dying, abuse, etc.), and other problems, my anorexia began at eleven years old. Like others, I didn't wake up one morning and say, "Hmm, I think I'll starve myself today." It was a slow process but I eventually used my body as a way of control; I felt that I couldn't control anything in my life - except my body.

Over the years, my weight didn't change too much. Ed thrives on secrecy and I was practically a professional in secrecy and manipulation. Finally, the control over my body changed...Ed began controlling me. I started having severe symptoms from my anorexia. My hair was thinning, I was slowly losing my cycle, I was constantly fatigued, couldn't think clearly, was constantly dehydrated, and either dizzy or fainting on a regular basis. At 5 ft 8 in, my weight was in double digits - appropriate weight for my height, age, sex, and body type is about 145 lbs. I even ended up with osteopenia (basically pre-osteoporosis) and early onset of other elderly diseases. I was literally dying and needed help.

The inpatient treatment was pointless. I left the inpatient facility AMA (against medical advice), since I hadn't gained enough weight to be cleared for a doctor to release me...but I wasn't ready. That was the moment that I realized that treatment only works when a person WANTS to get better. I finally did get treatment that worked for me. I worked the system, I tried my best, and I officially considered myself in recovery.

Recovery, for me, is daily. As with any other addiction, I will always have anorexia but I am in recovery. Even during pregnancy when I gained the most weight ever before, I did not once follow through on any disordered eating behaviors. Ever since, recovery - for myself and others - has been my goal. I work daily on my own recovery but I felt that wasn't enough. I needed to help.

After years of studying eating disorders (the basics, statistics, psychology behind it, treatment - then and now, and more), working on a purely social level with using my story to help others begin/continue recovery, and doing my own research, projects, and surveys, I have learned more about eating disorders than I ever thought possible. I am no professional; I have no degree in this field. I am, however, considered an eating disorder expert. (I supposed that depends on your definition of expert. Ha ha) I've used all of this to offer my hand to others. I've previously done educational classes to inform on eating disorders. Now, on top of that, I want to offer my resources and ability to research (especially since it's not as overwhelming for those not involved). I want to help find treatment centers, professionals, support groups, and more in the local area for others.

This blog is meant to be purely informative. I also have people make special requests. Essentially, if you need something related to eating disorders, I will try to take care of it for you. And if I can't do it, I'll point you in the direction of someone who can.

All of my services are 100% free. Education and resources should always be free. I do accept all types of donations, with everything only going specifically for me to help others. I want to do this. I never want anyone else to go through what I did.

Eating disorders are the slowest form of suicide.

The only perfect anorexic is a dead one.

If you're interested in any of my services or more information on services or donating, please use the Contact form on the home page. (If on your mobile, click View web page to see the contact form.)

Please remember that I can give advice and suggestions until I'm blue in the face...it should never replace the consultation of a doctor or other professional.

Dual Diagnoses

When a person has an eating disorder, they almost always have at least one other diagnosis. (I personally have never heard of an Ed patient that doesn't have a dual diagnosis, but there's always things that I don't know, so I threw in "almost" as a just in case.) After learning the facts about eating disorders, it actually makes perfect sense.

Contributing factors for Eds include depression, anxiety, childhood trauma, a sense of need for control, addictive personality, environmental factors (pressure to lose weight from parents, ballet, etc), and perfectionism.

First of all, many people don't realize that Ed is an addiction. Once the habit is established, the addiction is formed. It works a lot like alcoholism. After a while of certain "feel good" chemicals being released every time the person drinks alcohol/engages in Ed behaviors, the brain literally feels a need for the destructive behaviour. Especially when the person is mad, sad, or otherwise emotional, the desire for those "feel good" chemicals is overwhelming. So before you tell someone to "just eat something," think of it as telling a heroine addict to put down the needle and never pick one up again. Most addicts, those who have physical and chemical addictions, typically have more than one addiction. Eating disorder, drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, shopping...it doesn't really matter what the addiction is.

Because of the previous information, those with Ed can have a multitude of problems:
Other addictions
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
Mood disorder (such as Bipolar)
Clinical Depression
Generalized Anxiety Disorder
...and more

Those with eating disorders may sometimes not be tested for other disorders. If you or someone you know is being tested or treated for an eating disorder, be sure that all other necessary psychological testing is done. A person in treatment who has undiagnosed depression typically won't get very far in recovery.

Contact me if you would like to inquire about an educational seminar or need assistance finding treatment information.


EDIT: It was brought to my attention that I may have been unclear about the definition of dual diagnosis. In this blog, I use
the term "dual diagnosis" as a blanket term for having more than one diagnosis. This is NOT the actual meaning of a dual diagnosis. As far as psychiatry and mental health treatment, dual diagnosis specifically refers to having a mental illness (mood disorder, personality disorder, etc.) accompanied with a substance abuse problem with drugs or alcohol. Please be aware of the difference, and my mistake. Thanks for your patience.

Kids Acquainted with Ed

It's so sad to find out that someone you know has an eating disorder, no matter how close you are to that person. Sometimes even learning that about a complete stranger - especially when that person is a child.

What would you do you heard that a little girl was suffering from an eating disorder? That a ten year old hated her body and was starving herself?
Now what if that kid was eight?
Seven?
Six years old?

Unfortunately, there is a drastic increase in the age that eating disorders start. Not that long ago, the average age was sixteen...now it's not exactly uncommon to see a kindergartener binge and purge. And that is absolutely heart breaking.

So what is it that is causing the increase of little kids destroying their bodies? Well, research isn't exactly clear on that. The primary confusion comes from the fact that contributing factors to the start of eating disorders haven't changed. The things that made someone susceptible to an eating disorder 20 years ago - or even 2,000 years ago! - are the same contributing factors today. Some of the major factors include low self esteem, feelings of lack of control, history of being bullied, history of abuse, cultural pressures, and skewed views of beauty. While the biological causes are still being researched, it has been shown that eating disorders tend to run in families. Also, triggers in the brain related to appetite, hunger, and feeling full are actually misfiring in some brains.

Now, since all of this has been the same since the dawn of time, what is causing this increase of "early onset anorexia" (before the age of 12)? At this point, it's all guessing. Maybe the media is normalizing it more. Maybe they are more exposed to the idea of it, but not the facts behind it. Or maybe, since children are getting a hold of technology earlier, they're being exposed moreso to the pro-ana/mia communities.

No matter the reasoning, prevention is key for all ages. Not many six-year-olds are exposed to the facts behind eating disorders. Maybe that should change.

Men and ED

Meet Jack. He plays college football, keeps at least a 3.6 GPA, and is thinking of proposing to his girlfriend. Oh, and he has been actively practicing bulimia for the last four years.

Meet Jason. He came out as gay at a very early age and received criticism and hatred because of it. He spends a lot of time with his gay friends, going to parties, doing drugs, and going to clubs. What his friends don't know is that he restricts daily, to at least some extent.

Meet Nathan. As a high schooler, he makes good grades but doesn't have a lot of friends. He has always been self conscious of the fact that he is overweight, so he remains a loner.  His secret: he sneaks food at night, hides food in his room "for later," and eats to comfort himself when he's upset.

You see, there is a huge misconception that only females develop eating disorders. Not only is that not true, but it's a dangerous idea; if people honestly believe that boys and men are actually incapable of having an eating disorder, then how would any of them get help? How would others be able to notice the signs? How would anyone believe them if they were actually brave enough to admit it?

This myth comes from a combination of actual facts. First, women do tend to be more controlling than men. Since eating disorders are about control, it would make sense as to where this thought came from. That doesn't mean that it's impossible for men to have that desire for control, though. Secondly, boys are traditionally taught to "suck it up and be a man." If a parent thought that their son was "being a man" and not letting his emotions bother him, why would they think that their strong young man would be so "weak" as to have an eating disorder?

Let me clarify something: battling an eating disorder does NOT make a person weak. Unfortunately, especially for men, this is the assumption. People seem to think that having an eating disorder means that the person has a lack of self control and have no will power. But that is completely untrue...I'll get more into that in a bit, though.

Lastly, along with the thought of weakness, many times men have the "suck it up" mentality drilled into their head from a very young age. Because of this, men are known for not asking for help, especially in the mental health area. Men are known for not going to the doctor when they need to, much less a counselor or therapist. Lack of encouragement for men to seek help has lead professionals to believe that statistics are actually skewed. Currently it is said that 20 million women and 10 million men suffer from an eating disorder. These numbers, though, are based on the people that we know, for a fact, have an eating disorder. If so many men, probably more than woman, are unwilling to admit it - much less seek professional help - how can these men be accounted for? It would only make sense that the number for men is actually much, much higher.

Men can have the same experiences as women that can trigger an eating disorder. Men can be introduced to disordered eating at home, or disordered eating being encouraged by family. Men can have childhood traumas, including physical and sexual abuse. They can be teased, bullied, and judged based
on their weight - or anything else, for that matter. They can be exposed to addictive habits, whether in their family or their own addictions. They can have so much in their childhood be out of control that they feel a need to have control. They can be perfectionists.

The only difference is that men are seen as strong; women are seen as weak, so "it's okay for a woman to have this disease." So many people don't understand, though, that an eating disorder - or any other form of self harm (and yes, ED is harming your self) - is not a sign of weakness. It's a sign that you've been too strong, all alone, for too long.

If you're a guy, or know a guy, with an eating disorder, let me know. I can provide you with resources.

Dangers of Pro-ana & Pro-mia

Let's first touch on the definition of an eating disorder. An eating disorder is a mental illness, meeting certain criteria of the DSM V, where a person typically has a debilitating fear of gaining weight. Depending on the disorder depends on what behaviors the individual acts out because of the disorder. The two most common eating disorders are anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa. The three most common ways of these people losing weight are restricting (not eating as much or skipping meals), over exercising, and purging (self-induced vomiting, laxative abuse, etc.). You can read more on the page "Eating Disorders Info."

All people with eating disorders are miserable inside, even if they portray happiness and excitement. So many times people are torn; she or he truly wants to recover and not have to deal with this killer anymore, but many times the disorder has controlled him or her for years and they are scared of life without it.

Unfortunately, there are some who are not ready for recovery and embrace their disorder. They can't see how deadly this disease is; they don't even see it as a disease. To them, it's a genius way to lose weight. These people are called "pro-ana" (for anorexia), "pro-mia" (for bulimia), or "pro-ed" (for eating disorders). For the purpose of this blog post, I'm only going to refer to pro-ana, but it will be meant to cover all of the above.

These people congregate together, making communities of (many times) women encouraging each others' negative and unhealthy disordered behaviors. There are several pro-ana websites on the internet. These sites are extremely dangerous, whether a person is pro-ana, pro-recovery, or simply browsing the web on ways to lose weight. If you are concerned about someone you love, especially if you are a parent, please pay close attention. The following information could change the direction of recovery.

These websites encourage the slowest form of suicide. Yes, you read that correctly. Starving yourself to death, dying of a heart attack before the age of 30, or having your esophagus rupture while you're purging are not quick or painless deaths.

These websites encourage deadlines for losing a certain amount of weight. They give tips on what to eat, what not to eat, how to handle laxative dependence without medical attention, and into how small of bites to cut your food. They give instructions on what exercises work best to lose the most weight the fastest, what you can take prior to a meal to increase your metabolism, and which foods and drinks will help you lose water weight. You can only be friends with others who think like you. As one website says, "Friends just get in the way. You have us." Of course, the truth behind that is that eating disorders feed off of secrecy. If you tell your REAL friends about what is going on, they may actually care and - God forbid - try and get you help!

Having personally been in over my head with anorexia, I remember talking to others who
thought this way and thinking that I wasn't alone. But once I devoted myself to recovery, I was terrified but again saw that I wasn't alone.

The pro-ana people break my heart. It makes me sad to know that they don't care enough about themselves to get help. There is a saying in the ED recovery community: The only perfect anorexic is a dead one. No matter how much a person reaches out to these people, that will be their fate until they personally decide to begin recovery.

Believing in or being proud of this disease is simply toxic...as are the people stuck in that mind frame. Recovery is hard but completely worth it.

EDRM

Eating Disorder Recovery Mission (sometimes shortened to EDRM) is just a fancy way of saying who I am and what I do.

My name is Amber Goodman, and I save lives.

Okay, maybe that was a bit dramatic. The abridged version is that I use my personal experiences with an eating disorder along with reading information and doing my own research to educate others on eating disorders, through several mediums and to all kinds of people.

I also do research in order to find treatment centers, dieticians, support for family, and more. I run a blog - this blog, actually - to educate those worldwide, expose some awesome resources, and perhaps even start some dialogue.

All in all, if it's eating disorder related and you need it, I'm your gal. If I can't find the information that you need, I will find someone who can get it. If you need materials or footage that I can't get a hold of, I will create it myself!

I am currently in the process of creating a website to better explain the services that I offer, why I offer them, and a more extensive history of myself. As soon as that is finished, I will be overtaking the internet! No one will have not heard of me.

In the meantime, please understand that I volunteer everything at this point: my time, materials, and money. This is not a business, non-profit, or any other organization. If you feel touched by what I do, please feel free to donate. Donations of money, materials or time are appreciated. If you would like more information on donating or are interested in donating other than monetary, please contact me. To donate now, click here.

Stay tuned for information, stories, and so much more!